Happy December! What a year it has been. This past Friday our beautiful little girl turned ONE! I still cannot believe it. I feel like it was just yesterday that we were bringing this tiny little thing home from the hospital. I have a lot more pictures coming from her party, but I wanted to post what I have so far. My dear friend Kelley brought her amazing digital camera with her and captured Afton's party!
I have learned something very important over the past few years. Don't waste time making something from scratch if you can purchase it for the same cost AND save yourself time and stress! That is why I always buy cupcakes now from Sams Club. $15 for 30 cupcakes. By the time I buy cake mix, eggs, cupcake liners, frosting and then have to take the time to bake them, let them cool, frost them and then decorate them I have officially gone insane and I'm probably worn out, lol. I purchased the cupcakes with the pink frosting and then I did decorate them myself. Only negative thing about Sams is they have VERY basic decorations unless you are having a themed party. I've never been too big on the idea of a themed party so until Afton can stomp her little foot and insist that she wants a specific theme, she is going to have to be ok with something fairly neutral. I guess if you were going to split hairs, her theme this year was glitter!
Friday was an especially hard day for me. I simply could not wrap my head around the reality that Afton was 1. The year had gone by way too fast and it was hitting me like a ton of bricks that the years ahead were not only going to go by quickly, but even faster than the past year. I'm not ready for that. I had been on edge all day. I had been feeling very rushed. The reality was I was not at all rushed... but the entire day I could feel my anxiety level going up, up, up, up, up... and then I cracked. My mom, niece and I had left Afton at home with Paul's parents so Lily could pick out a Birthday present for Afton. On our way to Target my mom and I started talking about the holidays and some struggles I always have this time of year (another story for another post) and when the tears started they would not stop. I love my mother... I love everything about her. I love the way I feel when she hugs me and how soft her hands are. I love how well she knows me and how she understands me when I don't feel like I understand myself. As we pulled into the parking lot I could physically feel all of this anxiety and sadness come pouring out of me. Here I was sitting in the drivers seat of my car, my mom was in the seat next to me... through my tears I told my mom that in the blink of an eye Afton would be 32 yrs old and in the drivers seat and I would be the 64 year old sitting in the passenger seat. She assured me it would not go by quite that fast but then I looked at her and said "yes...it will". I know in my moms eyes it seems like yesterday she was 32 and bringing me home from the hospital and in the blink of an eye, here we were, sitting in my car, and I was the 32 year old. I am thankful that my mom just listened. She simply sat there and heard everything I had to say. She then made me feel like she understood me. It felt good to unload this sadness I had been carrying around with me. That moment,right there,was the reason I needed my mom to fly from Utah for Afton's party!
I had such a wonderful time getting ready for Afton's party! It was so fun letting my creative juices flow and then watching all of these ideas come together. Her party was a perfect moment in my life. The moment Paul and I helped her blow out her candle was PERFECT. I have my perfect family. I have EVERYTHING I have ever wanted. Yes her party was a little glitzy and definitely girly but I would not have changed one thing about it. Yes we bought our daughter little diamond earrings for her 1st birthday but it is exactly what I wanted her to have. From the day I was diagnosed with Melanoma I have been extremely aware of the reality that my time on this earth could be shorter than I care to even think about. I think about skin cancer every day of my life. I hold my daughter and pray that God continues to let me be one of the lucky ones who can say 50 years from now that I have never had that terrible cancer reappear. BUT, if I am not one of those lucky ones I want Afton to have treasures. I don't care if she has a million toys or boxes full of stuffed animals or even drawers full of fancy clothes... I want her to have treasures. These little earrings are something she will own (hopefully) for the rest of her life and when the time comes when I am no longer with her she can tell her children or grandchildren "My parents gave me these beautiful little earrings. I don't own much, but what I do own is precious to me. They are my treasures. I tell everyone that Afton was the most planned baby. Infertility brought us so many sad days and for a long time I was convinced I would never be a mother. Afton's birthday is a miracle day for me. As my dear friend Stephanie told me this week on the phone "your life was perfect for that moment! You had a baby you never imagined you would have". Saturday was not just a celebration of my child turning one. It was a celebration of a family I NEVER in my wild dreams imagined I would ever have.
Thank you so much Mom for helping me decorate and for being my clean up buddy.
Kelley, thank you for the beautiful pictures you took of my baby girl!
Thank you Paul for being such a wonderful dad! I am so happy you could get a flight home Friday night so you could be there for her big day! I love you so much and am so happy you were the man standing by my side on Saturday.
Afton, sweet baby girl, Thank you for being my princess.
Afton was a little unsure about all the company, lol! Shockingly she kept her birthday hat on!
Best friends! Having Lily and Afton together made my heart so so so happy!!!! Our 2 baby Rebeccas! (Liliana Rebecca & Afton Rebecca) PS, my mom, sister and I are obsessed with these two girls matching!
yep... matching! lol
Lily loved Afton's birthday tutu!!!!! I love this girl!!!!!!!
Afton has 2 top teeth that are just about to come in. She has been handling it like a champion! She loves to give kisses and she loves to give hugs and pat you on the back. Her favorite breakfast food is cold oatmeal (yes, strange), she loves mac and cheese for lunch and she is honestly not a big eater at dinner time. We are working on that. she has lost 0.2 lbs since her 9 month checkup and is now 2 1/2 inches taller! Dr. Hawkes said she is looking amazing and he is very happy with her progress. We are so sad that he will be retiring at the end of the month... Have I mentioned how much I hate change! But I am so happy he will be enjoying retirement and having more time at home with his amazing wife Polly!
I will post again when I get the pictures from Kelley! I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas with your friends and family!
Love,
EQ
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