15 months old

I am completely amazed that our baby girl is 15 months old (as of the 4th). She is now walking!!!  I love watching her walk around... It's like watching a tiny drunk woman stumbling around. She may be a pint size person but she is quick on her feet when she gets going!  We flew to Utah on February 16 and at that time she was still crawling the majority of the time. After a solid day of being around Lily, she decided crawling was for "babies" and she was a big girl now and big girls walk. 

She is not saying much... Yet. She says daddy, momma, this and fish. Although she is not officially saying the word No she has mastered the head shaking along with waving her hands in front of her face when she is finished with something. She is so animated when she does it :).  She is very much of a silent observer. She takes after her dad in that way. I was sitting in a religion class one evening with my brother John and I'll never forget the teacher saying " John does not say much, but when he does, you better be paying attention". I hope Afton has that quality. A silent observer who is full of wisdom... Like her dad and uncle. 

She LOVES to dance. We have a nightly dance party before bed. Her favorite is Meghan Trainor. She gets her little booty moving to the music and her arms go crazy. It's a riot to see how much she loves it. She also loves conducting the music at church. Paul almost dies laughing every Sunday. 

She will no longer wear headbands so we have moved on to pig tails and ponytails. I think she looks ADORABLE. Her hair is still as curly as can be and I simply love it. I tell everyone she is my favorite accessory. The older she gets the more I enjoy fixing her hair and dressing her up. I am confident I will be that overbearing parent who insists on doing a hair/outfit check before she leaves for school each morning. 

Afton's 15 month appointment is March 10 and I'm anxious to see what her stats are now. She is getting really tall. At 15 months she is almost ready for 18-24 month pants just for the length. 

5-6 days a week Afton and I walk at the mall. I walk right at 6 miles a day and it feels incredible. We had to buy a new stroller bc our princess has decided she no longer wants to sit forward facing. She would rather look at me the entire time. We went ahead and bought an extremely versatile double stroller that we are currently using as a single stroller.  

She has 3 teeth and a 4th coming in any day now. Those suckers are extremely sharp and of course she finds it funny when she bites us... A habit we are working on breaking. I never thought I'd find baby teeth so precious!!! 

Future SWAT team member! 

Mommy/daughter selfies! 

The above pictures were taken during our Utah trip!  We had such a wonderful time with my mom and sister. Paul was able to spend a little time with one of his best friends who lives just north of my mom by about 20 minutes. Paul and Levi have been friends since Paul served his mission there over 10 years ago!  Mom treated us all to an amazingly fun knight at Chuck E Cheese!  Who would have known a kids restaurant would be so much fun. We were all totally exhausted when we left. We had probably the best Chinese I have ever eaten one night for dinner.  We walked over and spent an evening at the fountains. That's always one of our favorite activities. Mom, Paul and I were able to spend Saturday morning attending the Ogden Temple. Mom and I went to the LDS bookstore while Emily watched both of the girls. I ate at my favorite Mexican restaurant... Thank goodness they don't have a Costa Vida in VA :). 

This vacation was wonderful and much needed. It was nice to get away for a few days.  Coming home from UT was extremely hard this time around. Paul and I have always dreamed of moving out West but I'm chewing (or choking) on the reality that we will probably be in VA for the duration of Pauls career. This has been a dream 5 years in the making and it's all suddenly come to a screeching halt. For the first time in a LONG time I find myself looking at my life and all I see is a big ?  How can you feel so sure of something only to realize... It was all for nothing. Paul and I agree on most things... "Everything happens for a reason" is not one of them. I have never believed that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. If there IS a reason we need to stay in VA, I wish the Lord would privilege me with that information bc right now I don't get it. I would not be honest if I said it has me puzzled... It has me down right angry, hurt, confused... 

If watching your dreams blow away like a balloon on a windy day doesn't make me stressed enough... We decided to start writing our will. Writing your will is probably the most emotional thing you will ever do. There is so much that goes into planning your death, lol. I've done hospice care for years so I know first hand the importance of having your affairs in order before it's too late. We are a family with very few assets and yet there is a lot to be figured out!  Who gets our child(ren)? How much life insurance should we have? who will handle Afton's financial affairs? What will happen to our car? What about Harley?... So many decisions. Then there is he big question. What happens to us?  Paul and I decided since we would rather give Afton the money we would spend on a burial, we will be cremated, mixed together, and sat on my sisters bedside table. BAHAHAHA. Ok the bedside table part was a joke. The rest is true. Decisions, decisions. I'm just glad the decision making process is finished. Now to get it in writing and we will be set. 

To end things on a brighter note... It will be in the 70's in VA next week!  I'm really looking forward to warmer weather. OH and Paul, Afton and I are moving into an apartment for the next year and then start looking at houses in the winter/ spring. I'm so excited to have my own kitchen again and have my leather furniture in an actual living room. We move in May 1 and I'm getting so excited. 

Well, it's 1 am and I need to go to bed. There is so much going on this summer between traveling and Pauls work.  There will be a lot of upcoming posts for those of you who real this silly blog. 

-EQ

 

Happiness in the midst of adversity

It's 11:00 am on Wednesday afternoon. My Wednesday's are pretty repetitive... But there is something in the repetition that brings me peace. I know that 1 day a week is always the same. Today is weigh-in-Wednesday. I attend my weight watchers meeting every single Wednesday at 11:30 and I cannot tell you the happiness it brings me every week. I am not ashamed to admit that life has been hard the past few months and yet if you look at my surrounds many would be envious of my life. I have the most incredible marriage, a perfect daughter and no financial stresses... But mentally and emotionally I've been at one of the lowest points that I can remember. My amazing mother keeps reminding me to look at all the blessings I have in my life and the past few days I have been doing exactly that. I have been consumed by this "funk" that I have been in, but now I'm starting to feel a change. I KNOW that the situations that are causing this funk are temporary. They are very real trials... But temporary none the less. It's interesting to me that it takes disconnecting yourself from strengths that have become weaknesses in order to connect with weaknesses that need to become strengths. 

I am slowly learning that happiness can be found in very challenging situation. During this weight loss process I have found great happiness while overcoming bad habits I developed while I was pregnant. I could have easily continued forward with those bad habits and justified my weight gain by saying "I just had a baby" or "my child is only one, I deserve a transition period". Where would that have gotten me???  Nowhere!  

I have been pondering a picture I found online several months ago. This picture has touched my soul and it constantly reminds me that there can be joy, even happiness in the hardest of life's transitions. 

There are many ways to look at this picture. You can obviously see that she has a long way to go to get to her goal and you can see that the weight is coming off tiny pieces at a time... But look at the expression on her face!!!  She is happy. This is a LONG process but she is slowly making strides toward the finish line. I love the smile on her face. She has a look of determination. 

The obesity she is chipping away at can represent so many things. Maybe it's an addiction or depression. Maybe your own personal battle is having patience with those around you. Changing does not happen overnight. It happens piece by piece. 

One of my biggest strengths is that I love to be a problem solver. When I was working, I felt a tremendous sense of pride when I was able to fix our computers or figure out how to make a clamp for a foley bag when a restless patient had destroyed theirs the day before supplies was being delivered. When someone in my family is having a problem I try to jump in (with my cape blowing behind me, of course) and give them one of my "I don't know why you didn't think of this already" solutions. I'm a fixer. I want everyone around me to be prepared for any situation. That strength has become a weakness bc I am becoming overwhelmed by others needs.  I open my mouth before thinking things through and before I know it I'm casting myself aside. Recently Paul and I were discussing this and after I rambled on and on about wishing I could do this or wishing I could do that for someone he looked at me and said "when have any of these people done this or that for you?"  That was when I realized I needed to make a change. My weakness is allowing people the opportunity to figure out life's problems on their own. This needs to become my strength. 

Over the past 12 months I have learned how to control my diet. I have gained so much confidence in myself and now I am working on filling myself with happiness. A few situation that constantly bring me down cannot be changed right now. BUT, they are temporary. At the opening of all dark caves there is light. The woman above is proof that there can be happiness in the middle of all adversity. 

EQ